Unspoken Word
by I Know Your Name
Summary: I have to tell you something. It's important...but it may ruin our friendship. I...
1. Gojyo

**Standard disclaimer applies. **

**LOL. Read. This story should all be posted within the next 48 hours--there's three chapters...and yes I am bored and have a lot of time on my hands because it's Christmas break...hehehehehe. PLEASE REVIEW! **

**Enjoy. **

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Gojyo tapped his fingers restlessly on the table. The silence of the inn coupled with the light drumming of the rain on the drought-hard ground was making him nervous. He wasn't used to silence; he preferred noisy activity at all times, which was probably, now that he thought about it, why he fought so much with Goku. If he didn't fight with Goku—if it were just Sanzo and Hakkai and himself in the Jeep—it would be silent.

The thought of Hakkai made him swallow anxiously. He tucked one strand of red hair behind his ear and absently scratched the place on his jaw where it had been. Hakkai wasn't much one for small talk—he would make it, sure, if he thought he needed to. Hakkai was always the one who buttered up the innkeeper or servants at the inns they stayed at, the one who placated the townspeople if something happened to go wrong while they were roaming the West. But when they were alone, he didn't talk. He and Sanzo made quite a pair that way.

Gojyo swallowed again. To disguise it, he took another gulp of the sake that sat on the bar in front of him. It was his second, and he was already feeling slightly out of it. He just couldn't take that much liquor, unlike Hakkai…Damn it! What was with him thinking of Hakkai all the time? It was insane.

He emptied the glass and then began to roll it around in his fingers. Why was he thinking of Hakkai? His brain strained to work it out through the cloud of sake, fumbling its own thoughts in the absence of any particular knowledge. Hakkai…Hakkai...it clicked suddenly and he sat up straighter on the stool. That was why. He swallowed again. Damn. He hadn't wanted to remember. Gojyo closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Why did he always have to remember shit like this? He didn't want to do it, didn't want to at all, but felt somehow compelled to do so.

"Hey."  
Gojyo looked up to see the barkeeper staring at him strangely. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

The barkeeper raised an eyebrow. "You look as if someone just killed your dog."

"I don't have a dog."

The man snorted. "Fine, you look like someone just broke your heart."

Gojyo jumped. "What? What do you mean? Why did you say that?"

"Who was it? Some village chick?"

Gojyo shook his head violently. "No one broke my heart."

"Ah, come on, you can tell me." The barkeeper smiled. "Everyone tells me. I'm a barkeeper. Everyone tells the barkeeper what's bothering them."

Gojyo shrugged and began to roll a cigarette, deliberately putting on a calm façade. Inside he was shaking. Who was this guy?

"Nothing wrong. Just had a little too much sake, is all."

"Uh-huh." The barkeeper shrugged. "I get it. Well, if you want to tell me, I'll be down there." He walked off towards the other end of the bar where a customer was waiting.

Gojyo let out a breath in relief. Finally that guy was gone. He didn't know what the man wanted, but his interest was a little disturbing. The way he was prying into things was almost like Hakkai…the youkai was obsessed with discovering answers. _Damn it! _There it was again!

He didn't want to deal with this anymore. It was time he told him. He couldn't get out of it…he had to get over it. He just had to. He couldn't keep on like this—it was tearing him apart. Gojyo licked his lips. He…he didn't want to hurt Hakkai. He didn't want this to ruin their friendship. But he had to say it. He couldn't go any longer without saying it. He got up from the stool, turned towards the door, swallowed, and began to walk towards it. Hakkai had to hear the truth, even if it destroyed their friendship. But there was still hope…


	2. Hakkai

**Standard disclaimer applies.**

**Hehehehehehe...this fic is a complete delight to write. I have one more chapter...it'll probably go up tomorrow or the next day...no more than 48 hours. Likely tomorrow. Please review, if you would...I greatly enjoy the feedback. **

**Enjoy.**

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Hakkai could hear the rain. He cursed the innkeeper who had decided to give them an upstairs room. Somehow, with the lights out, the rain was even louder than if they were on. Maybe it was just the solitude. Sanzo and Goku had gone out to get food, and Gojyo had left to visit the bar. Hakkai supposed he could turn the lights on, but the darkness seemed more suited to his current mood.

He had heard that some people liked the rain. He had never understood such people. How anyone could like the rain was completely beyond him…the rain brought darkness, and too often the rain brought death.

Goku had once told him that he liked the rain because it gave life. Hakkai had smiled and nodded at the time, but he couldn't disagree more. The rain killed as much as it saved. Even if it did save, Hakkai couldn't care less. To him the rain would always be darkness; it would always remind him of that night when he had lost everything.

Tonight was another rainy night, and the irony of it did not escape him. Tonight would be another night for endings; Hakkai knew it. He could feel it in his bones that something would end tonight. Something important. Hakkai rubbed the fingers of one hand together, idly producing a small spark of chi and snuffing it out. He didn't want this to end.

What he and Gojyo had was very special. He had never had a friend like Gojyo…ever. The closest thing he had ever had to a friend was Kanan, and she didn't really count. She was his sister—they were naturally attuned to one another. But Gojyo…he and Gojyo couldn't be more different. Gojyo was an extrovert, and he enjoyed confrontation of the recreational sort. He gambled; he drank; he enjoyed women in the fullest sense of the word "enjoy". One could always tell exactly what Gojyo was feeling by the expression on his face. Gojyo was simple; you never had to worry where you stood with him…Hakkai's lips curved in a small, sardonic smile. Until now.

That was what bothered him so much about all of this. Hakkai _wasn't _an extrovert. He didn't enjoy being around people; he would rather be by himself or with one other. People to him were…objects, to be used and discarded as necessary. He would seek them out in all their noise only to drown the voices of his own ghosts. Because of his dislike for people, he avoided recreational confrontation whenever possible; he didn't want to get involved with them and didn't particularly care what they thought. Hakkai was utterly disinterested in most individuals. He avoided gambling, though he was an excellent gambler; didn't drink much, though he could hold more alcohol than almost anyone. As for "enjoying" women, Hakkai had never done so. Kanan had been the one and only woman he had ever had sex with, and he had no intentions of loving another.

Gojyo didn't seem to understand this. He would constantly attempt to get Hakkai to come along with him on his little expeditions, despite the fact that Hakkai repeatedly told him that he wasn't interested. He could never give his heart to another woman.

But Gojyo…Hakkai swallowed. He had to get the man to understand somehow. Gojyo was sometimes too dense. Hakkai was the master of subtlety. He never said something when it could be said without being said. Gojyo…he didn't think Gojyo would understand this. He didn't think Gojyo would understand how he felt. Hakkai swallowed again. He didn't want to hurt him. He didn't want their friendship to end. But he had to say it.

He rose from his chair by the window, opened the door to the room and began walking downstairs.


	3. The Truth

**Standard disclaimers apply.**

**Hehehehehehehe. This story was a great deal of fun to write. I hope ya'll had fun reading it. Have a happy holiday, all of you! Please review, if you would...everything is accepted, from smileys to flames. **

**Enjoy! **

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Gojyo turned the handle of the door that led to the upstairs rooms only to have it opened from the other side by Hakkai. Upon seeing each other, they both jumped.

"Er…hello, Gojyo." Hakkai said. Gojyo drew back from him slightly to let him pass. Hakkai slid from the darkness into the dim, smoky light of the inn's bar. The yellow light gave his face an eerie cast. Gojyo flinched slightly, but Hakkai's face was turned towards the bar, and he didn't notice. Hakkai turned back to Gojyo, his face unreadable behind the omnipresent smile.

"Would you like to have a drink with me, Gojyo?"

Gojyo swallowed. "Sure." They began to walk towards the bar. "Actually, I was heading upstairs to ask you to have one with me."

Hakkai sat at the bar. "Perhaps this is fate, then."

Gojyo cringed slightly, a motion hidden by the darkness. "Maybe." He sat at a barstool next to Hakkai. The barkeeper came up to them, wiping his hands on a damp, stained towel.

"Can I get anything for you?" He glanced at Gojyo, then back at Hakkai, then looked at Gojyo again. A knowing smile lit his round, creased face. Gojyo tried to ignore him.

"A bottle of sake, please." Hakkai said, apparently oblivious to the insinuating grin of the bartender. The fat aproned man turned and took a dusty bottle off the shelf, wiped it carefully with the towel, and set it on the bar in front of Hakkai and Gojyo along with two glasses.

"Best vintage of the house." He smiled. "Enjoy it."

Hakkai pulled out the gold card to pay, but the man waved it away. "It's on the house."

"I insist."

"No." The man grinned at Gojyo again. "Have a good evening, both of you." He glanced at Hakkai. "Anything else you need, just call me. I'll be around." He waddled away into the smoky dimness of the room. Gojyo glared at his departing form until he heard the sake slipping into the glasses. Hakkai held out a glass to him.

"Cheers."

"Cheers." Gojyo echoed hollowly. Hakkai raised an eyebrow.

"Something is bothering you."

"Yeah." Gojyo took a quick swallow of the sake. Hakkai sipped his, watching the kappa over the glass' rim.

"What is it?"

Gojyo glanced up at Hakkai. The youkai's eyes were guarded, yet the smile was still curving his lips. Damn him and his ability to hide everything.

"I…"

Hakkai leaned forward. "You?"

Gojyo cursed. Why couldn't he just say it?"

"I…I mean, Hakkai, are you…I mean…"

"Am I what?"

The man was being deliberately stupid. Gojyo ground his teeth and fought to keep a blush from coloring his cheeks. He didn't want to be _all _red, damn it!

"Are you…do you…like guys?"

Of all the things Hakkai had been expecting, this definitely wasn't it. He stared at Gojyo, eyes wide, and slowly set the sake glass down.

"Do I…like guys?"

"Yeah."

Hakkai weighed his options. He hadn't expected the conversation to take this turn; in fact, had counted against it. This meant a different tactic was required, one that would hopefully clarify the situation.

"Do you?"

Gojyo jerked back. "What?"

"Do _you _like men?"

"What…I mean…why the hell would you think that?" Gojyo demanded. "I mean…I don't mean…if you are…that's okay…I'd still be your friend…but…I don't…I can't…I'm not homosexual, Hakkai, or even…bisexual…so…I can't…I mean…if you want more from our friendship…I can't give it to you…you understand that, right?" Gojyo was sweating and his breath was coming in quick gasps. "You understand that I…I can't like you like that? I'm not wired that way."

Hakkai sighed. "I understand, Gojyo."

"You do?" Gojyo's eyes were hopeful. "You aren't mad? You aren't going to go kill yourself or something?"

Hakkai began to laugh. He laughed so hard that tears came to his eyes. "Why would I?" He gasped for breath. "I was coming down here to tell you the same thing."

"You…were?" Gojyo looked at him in shock. "You were going to tell me that you're…not…?"

"Yes." Hakkai calmed a bit and looked at Gojyo, amusement evident in his green eyes. "I'm not homosexual, Gojyo. I have no feelings for you."

"Seriously?" Gojyo began to grin. "You don't?"

"Seriously." Hakkai grinned. "So you can calm down now."

"Shit, man, I was making myself sick worrying about this." Gojyo smiled and clapped Hakkai on the back. "I'm glad…I'm glad that we don't have to worry about it anymore."

"We can just be friends."

"Right. Just friends."

"I'm glad that you don't think I'm homosexual."

Gojyo flushed. "Yeah, sorry Hakkai, I mean, just with you cooking and stuff…and the way you talk and all…"

"Is somewhat misleading, I know." Hakkai smiled. "But I'm not."

Gojyo grinned. "I'm so glad I don't have to worry about it anymore."

"Of course." Hakkai smiled, keeping his amusement to himself. That the kappa had actually considered that he was homosexual was…unsurprising, to say the least. Thank goodness that he hadn't had to be the one who broke the news…he really hadn't wanted to hurt Gojyo, if the man were bisexual, with the news that he wasn't homosexual and most definitely wasn't interested. "Let's have some sake."


End file.
